When I lead workshops about coaching I often start with an exercise where we ask participants to think of experiences they’ve had in the past when someone saw something in them they didn’t even see in themselves. My good friends Gregg Thompson and Susanne Biro, in their book Unleashed call this the Unseen Road. Great coaches and leaders can see talent in us that we don’t see in ourselves or discount in some form or another. It can open our eyes to roads that are far grander than the possibilities we may have seen in ourselves. This to me is the number one responsibility and gift of significant leaders, coaches and for parents as well. Whenever I ask people to do this exercise I invariably ask myself the same question. Who shows up for me seems to be consistent each time. I wonder if that is because I have asked people this question so often? Or could it be I haven’t seen newer material that has had as strong and lasting effect as the three names I come up with each time?
Fritz Halfacre, my high school football coach, comes up. Frank Osmun, the guidance counselor at the same high school. And most significantly, my father consistently shows up. I believe these three are most prominent because they were in my life at the potentially most vulnerable and impressionable times of my life. I fully believe that without each of them sharing the Unseen Road they saw in me I would not be where I am today.
When I would ask the people you lead, your children or anyone else whose lives you touch, would they readily say your name as one of those they see as a significant contributor to their lives? If not, what will you do to change that? If there are people in your life that made a difference in your life – tell them.
Margaret Cousins wrote – “Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” And, I once heard Ken Blanchard, the One Minute Manager guru, speak and a few of his words have stuck with me for nearly 20 years. He said, “Good thoughts left in your head mean squat!” I would particularly like to encourage you to share the stories of the impact someone special has had in your life.
