As a part of my new plan to dedicate time to my own health I decided back in May to start doing Bikram Yoga. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this particular form of yoga it is also called hot yoga. They heat up the room to 104 degrees and you go through a routine of 26 postures during a 90-minute class. Now this has been a great program to begin getting back into shape and to test my commitment level to regular exercise.
I also find this yoga practice to be a significant challenge. Firstly, my balance sucks. I work so hard to muscle my way through the one legged balance postures and rarely hold one through the allotted time frame of 60 seconds for the first set and 30 seconds for the second set. It is a constant process of falling out of the posture and working to get back into it. It is not uncommon for me to fall out and to work back in the posture up to four or five times in one set. By the time we get through all the standing postures I feel fully worked over and just hoping to then make it through the postures that make up the second half of the class on the floor. Secondly, the heat affects me and I can often find myself trying to stay upright and keep from passing out. When I see double or black spots in front of me I have to give in and kneel down until this passes.
Therefore, I have been asked several times by my family why I keep going. And when I have sessions where I feel like a failure and have to take a knee, like the two in a row I had last week, I ask myself the same question. Then this week I have so far had two sessions in a row that I have completed with relative ease. Now that is breathing and not passing out ease, the balance stuff is still a work in progress.
I am challenged by the constant pull to give up this practice and move on to something that is simpler and less of a burden to master. I can feel a sense of embarrassment when I fall in and out of postures or have to kneel to keep from passing out when right with me classmates are nailing the postures with grace and no evidence of strain. And then I want to stay in the program as I have a small success and notice changes of flexibility and body tone. Who knows, maybe I can master this stuff some day!
I have been a leadership and executive coach for over 27 years. I regularly see leaders drop back into their comfort zones of technical expertise because the pain of developing leadership skills can only be achieved in front of either those they lead or others that are leaders, either skilled or on their own development path. Like the beauty and grace of yoga I see while struggling in yoga class, many leaders struggle to develop the skills necessary to successfully lead under the microscope of many observers. When I receive an appreciative nod from the yoga instructor acknowledging my efforts along with the occasional gesture from another participant signally their own struggle as a common cause, I recognize what is necessary for leaders to boldly step into the continuous practice of leadership development. I encourage all leaders to stay in the heat of leadership learning even when you feel you might look incompetent, out of balance or about to pass out!
