I coined a value many years ago called Shared Abundance. It is a term that I place as the value that best defines me and how I see my place in the world. I would love to see a world that truly sees each other and places significant value on caring about how they treat each and every human being they cross paths with.
I travel frequently to many parts of North America and occasionally other parts of the world as part of my work. I love to travel and whenever possible, I will spend extra days after my work visiting the area and trying to absorb the local culture and most importantly, the people. People are a very curious thing to me, which helps make me a very good professional coach as well as someone that constantly searches for meeting new people and hearing what their story may be. Imagine the challenge I have whenever I travel to other parts of the world, particularly large cities, and I wander the streets or sit in curbside cafes attempting to make eye contact with those that pass me by. Try this sometime, wherever you are, even your hometown city. Walk the streets and make eye contact with others passing by you. Count the number of people that actually look at you. Or even more interesting, count how many of those few that do make eye contact with you, what type of reaction do they have? I find that the percentage of those that we actually make eye-to-eye contact with is generally very small. And an even smaller percentage would hold that contact for more than an instant or possibly smile, nod or say hello. There are times I find this almost depressing and with shared abundance as a value, it becomes something of significant interest for me to take on to change.
I believe that we are all starving for more human connection. Because of safety and security concerns we insulate ourselves from the stranger on the street and pass them by with our head down or barely a glance in their direction. Then we go to the security of our homes and jump on the Internet dating sites or cry to our friends about how difficult it is to find that perfect someone or to make new friends.
Two weeks ago I attended as a newbie, an event in the desert of northern Nevada called Burning Man. This is an annual weeklong event set up on a dried up lake bed 120 miles north of Reno, Nevada. In other words, in the middle of nowhere! From nothing but flat, white dust filled desert emerges a small city of over 50,000 people migrating from all corners of the globe to spend a week in a non-monetary commerce community. The key idea is that gifting to others becomes the currency that drives this instant city. For one full week I had no idea where I had put my wallet. As well, cell phone coverage and Internet connections were very scarce.
At Burning Man you cross paths with every walk of life you can imagine. Young, old, male, female, artist, entertainer, homeless, CEO, etc, all of which come to experience interacting with others with a minimum of judgment or care for the others background or history. And there is the culture of just about anything is accepted as long as it does not harm another. Costumes are a significant part of the event and you see people in costumes generally reserved for the rare Halloween occasion back home. As well, some choose not to wear costumes or wear anything at all. Interestingly enough, soon after the heightened visual stimulation of crazy costumes or partial, as well as full nudity, becomes the norm in this community, we all settle into getting to know the people there and their motivation for attending this event in such a harsh desert environment. Here is where shared abundance shows itself in some of its most unique forms.
I attended this event knowing only my close trusted friend that had been talking about going for several years and we finally decided to take the plunge and go. After the close of the event, I left with many new friends with hopes of staying in contact as we all went back to our regular lives and activities. My greatest joy throughout the week was the constant connection to virtually everyone you crossed paths with. Such the opposite of what I experience everyday. It was an automatic response to make eye contact and to give, as well as receive, a genuine greeting. We would stop in the street and hold a conversation with someone that we had never met before and in many cases a gift may be exchanged with no expectation of reciprocity. After a full week of openness, connection, high visual stimulation and caring community I found myself back in the real world and walking my city streets with a hopeful expectation that I would receive the same community-like connection with everyone whose path I crossed. That has not been the case and yet I remain hopeful. I challenge all of us to consider the gift that eye contact, a nod of acknowledgment or even more boldly, a hello and smile has on those we come in contact with.
